I’d like to preface this post by saying that I am an amazing gift-giver. This is because I pay attention, and I make it a point to remember small things. Like what sort of perfume Chris, my bff4e, wore nearly 6 years ago when we were both driving around in her car in high school (Clinique Happy), what my besto’s* favorite candies are (Hot Tamales), and a number of idiosyncratic quirks E** has (her three favorite things: naps, ceiling fans, and drinking tons of water). That being said, I do have my faults.

Like I notoriously shop last-minute. Or I sometimes suffer from a paralyzing bout of anxiety whereupon I forget everything that I thought I knew about the giftee. Fact: I have forgotten my mother’s birthday enough time for me to program it into my cell phone. That being said these, Christmas Cheat Sheets from Made in England by Gentlemen are a godsend. Plus how cute are they?

This is exactly the type of thing that you’d probably put in a dossier about a relative or a friend or significant other — I mean, no, that’s creepy***.

Download the pdf’s here (boys, girls) or jpg’s here (boys, girls).

Oh man, where were you two weeks ago?! New rule: all new friends of mine must immediately fill one of these out. Preexisting friends should instead ask for my measurements and get me isht.

* I have three best friends with whom I run everything by. Because I am incapable of making my own life decisions.
** E doesn’t have a title, but if she did, it would probably be “potential life-mate” on the off-chance that she is still single when we’re 30, we are starting a spinster cat ranch together.
*** You know who are probably good gift-givers? Private eyes. Detectives. Batman. Oh man, everything I wrote about goes back to Batman. Yeesh.